Download , by Alice Miller Ruth Ward
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, by Alice Miller Ruth Ward
Download , by Alice Miller Ruth Ward
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Product details
File Size: 270 KB
Print Length: 144 pages
Publisher: Basic Books; 3rd -30th Anniversary, Revised, Updated ed. edition (December 15, 2008)
Publication Date: December 15, 2008
Sold by: Hachette Book Group
Language: English
ASIN: B00D0UWFP0
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#27,373 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Finally a book about narcissistic parents and how that damages kids. It's written for therapists by a therapist but you can still gather some insight into the dynamics. It's a very small book, it's quite old, and there are numerous versions and copyrights, some updated, some not, so watch out for that. My therapist had one version, me another and things didn't jive. I gathered more insight from "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" which deals strictly with narcissistic mothers as it's directed totally to the daughters of narcissists rather than their therapists.
I started working with a great psychologist/therapist last year to deal with a few issues that i had diagnosed in myself and also to deal with PTSD. In one of our sessions, much to my surprise, he linked these issues back to my childhood and my parents and especially my mother. Apparently my mother has highly narcissistic tendencies and my father, with his indifference, has played the role of the enabler. As i started to do more research and read more to understand so many complicated issues that are part of the human psyche, i came across this book. Please allow me to very honest and say that to this day i have not finished reading the whole book. This, not because it is a difficult or poorly written book. On the contrary, it is brilliant, eloquent, and provides enough examples to make the topic easily understood by everyone. I have not finished it because sometimes the truth hurts and it hurts deeply when one faces it's ugly part. It is forces you to look inside your own self, to analyze your thoughts and actions, and more than anything to accept the origin of your fears and insecurities. Read it and re-read it over and over again, because by understanding your past you can change the present and the future and even if you may not fully break free of the pain, at least you will not repeat the same mistakes with your children. I can not recommend this book enough, painful as it is to read it and face truths about one's self. You will become a better person in the end.
This is a great book that helps you delve into the root causes of current pain. It’s uncomfortable work and the author doesn’t sugarcoat it. But it’s very rewarding if you let yourself go on the scary journey of healing, which does require you to sit with darker facets of yourself and your past.The people who wrote complaining reviews are missing the point — in order to heal, you have to embrace the hurt first. Then, like a snake, you metaphorically shed that skin.Also, the people dissing this book are all very in denial and their reviews seem to come from rigid “black and white†thinking. No one had perfect parents. This isn’t about demonizing your parents but rather recovering from their shortcomings. This about taking responsibility for your own healing. But some people would rather stay in their discomfort and misery than face the music — I suppose they figure the devil they know is better than the devil they don’t.
Really amazing book. I have read a lot of "self help" and other types of psychology books. I have also done years of therapy. I always felt that there was something I was missing. I had decided to take a break from trying to re-hash my past experiences when I stumbled across this book.Alice describes me and my life perfectly in this book. It was really amazing to read and identify with so much of what she said. Almost everything she talks about was something I hadn't thought of before--at least in the way she explains things. There was also one thing she explains that I have had a profound experience with, that I have never heard of anyone else experiencing. It was amazing to hear that what I had experienced and worked through is actually common.One thing I could never understand about myself was why I still have low self-esteem. Intellectually, I can see why I (or anyone for that matter) should have self-esteem. I had read many books and done work in therapy specifically for this issue, but it still remained a complete mystery for me.The ideas in this book have given me the tools to become my "true self" and get that self-esteem I have always lacked. I admit that I have only just finished reading the book and have yet to do most of the work involved in this, but I feel incredibly confident that this is what I have been missing (for me with these type of therapeutic and self-revelations, you know when something speaks to you like this). I now have a plan for working through this issue and I feel confident I now know what has been holding me back.I can't recommend this book highly enough. I've already purchased another one of Alice's books and I hope it is as helpful for me as this one has been.
I am giving this book 5 stars because I think it is a must-read. After reading it 3 times over a number of years, I can honestly say it has been life-changing, the key to so many unanswered questions and neuroses. However, I must say that I like the original edition better. Even though it was full of Freudian psychological terminology, and it challenged me intellectually to read it, the process of looking up and familiarizing myself with the terms made me feel like I had unearthed a rare jewel, so much did it expand my knowledge and insight. Plus, the fact that it was addressed to the Psychology Professional was to me one of the most incredible things about the book. I have been to some truly insensitive counselors but this book put them on notice: Don't keep the patient locked in the same bad habits. Miller illustrates this with a powerful analogy about giving someone a meal at just the moment when they have the opportunity to escape a lifetime of incarceration---chilling! This new edition is a little preachy and gets down on religious people a little bit. I realize that there is nothing "religious" about psychology, but I felt that the original edition was, more than any other book I have ever read, completely un-self-concious, and to borrow the phrase from the Washington Post review of M. Scott Peck's book The Road Less Traveled, a "spontaneous act of generosity" and a rare gift.
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